"No One Prepares You for This: The Sudden Loss of a Beloved Pet"
“You read all the right things for your pet, do all the right things, and then no one prepares you for what to do when you lose your pet.”
That’s what my husband said to me this morning after the passing of OsKar, our Newfoundland. After loving him for nine years, he was laid to rest this week on a beautiful September morning. This blog post is, for me, a little selfish—let’s call it therapy.
The Unspoken Grief of Losing a Pet
I don’t have any profound words of wisdom about loss, based on my own experience with the death of a pet. I’m not sure anyone does. All I can say is that you are going to cry for as long as you need to cry. Some pets take a very long time to get over. I have a feeling OsKar will be one of those. I've experienced this heartache with both cats and dogs; it’s the worst kind of pain for any pet owner.
A Loss Felt by the Community
What makes this loss even harder is that it's not just a loss for our family but for so many others who knew him. It was hard to miss all 200 pounds of him. Neighbors would watch for him to walk by so they could wave and give him a treat. They never knew our names, just "the guy who walked OsKar" or "the wife of the guy who walked OsKar."
OsKar: The Gentle Giant with a Big Impact
OsKar will be missed by many at my school where I work. He went through extensive training to become a therapy dog and would often come to my school to work with special needs students and visit my kindergarten classroom to read with the children. This gentle giant would cuddle up to five-year-olds and become their best friend. OsKar was a trusted listener who heard the children’s secrets and fears—things they would tell no one else.
One of the hardest days of my career was when a child confided in OsKar, saying, "My mom died." She had lost her mom to cancer that year, and OsKar was right there to listen when she could not say those words out loud to anyone else. That’s the power of a trusted dog. The first kindergarten class he visited is now in high school. Students and staff who knew him throughout the years always ask, "How’s OsKar?" It makes me smile, but now I dread that question. I need to figure out how to answer it myself.
Keeping Their Memory Alive: Coping with Pet Loss
The American Veterinary Medical Association suggests in their article, HERE, Coping with Pet Loss, to continue your relationship through memories, allowing your pets to live on in you. Embracing these memories can help with the grieving process. Going through photos was one of their suggestions, which was the first thing I did when he was gone. I made a slideshow for my husband, family, and all of OsKar’s fans. It was helpful to embrace the love he gave everyone.
I plan to take it a step further by finding some pictures of him reading with students. This way, when students at school ask about OsKar, I'll have something to give them to share his memory. I hope this will help them cope with his loss as well.
A Final Goodbye from OsKar
To all the fur babies out there, give them a hug and kiss from OsKar. And if your beloved pets are no longer with you, too, know that he will watch over them in heaven.
Hugs,
Miss Lisa